When a regular person avoids eye contact with you, it usually indicates that they are either too hurt to even speak to you or that they are attempting to avoid all interaction. However,why do narcissists ignore you is simply one of their many manipulative strategies.
Knowing why they do it doesn’t make you feel better, though. Knowing this doesn’t tell you how long a narcissist will neglect you; it only makes you more aware of it.
How Long Will You Be Ignored by a Narcissist?
Nobody can precisely predict how long a narcissist would ignore you. One thing is definitely certain, though: sooner or later, they will try to re-enter your life after they cease giving you the narcissistic silent treatment.
As long as it suits them, a person with narcissistic personality disorder will disregard you. When they determine that you have received enough punishment or when they believe they have reclaimed authority over you, they will cease.
The duration of a narcissist’s disregard for you also relies on the stage of your relationship. It’s likely that they will get in touch with you in two weeks or less if you two are new to dating.
A narcissist knows they can’t afford to neglect you for too long at this stage. They don’t know whether you are entirely dependent on them or not, after all. What if, while they’re away, you change your mind about them and won’t let them come back?
The quiet treatment, on the other hand, may extend up to three months if this is a long-term relationship. They know you’re not going anywhere and they can come back to you whenever they want, so they take advantage of this luxury.
Why Do Narcissists Ignore You
You must comprehend why narcissists neglect people in order to determine “How long will a narcissist ignore you?” All NPD sufferers, including your narcissistic partner, parent, brother, best friend, coworker, etc., are affected by this.
1. A form of narcissistic maltreatment
Any life coach or relationship expert will tell you that the silent treatment alone is enough to qualify someone as an emotional abuser, regardless of whether you have noticed any of the other warning signs.
This is not to say that regular individuals don’t occasionally disregard their loved ones; nevertheless, what sets this apart from narcissistic conduct is the motivation behind it.In order to perpetrate narcissistic abuse against you, a narc wilfully ignores you.
They are fully aware that this treatment is harming you, yet they carry on nonetheless.To be clear, toxic people do it specifically because it is a means to harm you.
2. Decreasing your value
Do they not even consider me worthy of their conversation? Why am I being treated this way? What did I do wrong? Do I really deserve to be treated in this manner?How often have you thought about these and other things?
Well, the moment the narc achieved their goal was when you first asked yourself any of these questions.In some way, they want to minimise your value. And ignoring you will ultimately result in the destruction of your mental health and feeling of self-worth.
The message a narcissist is trying to convey to you is this: “You’re not deserving of my response. You are not worthy of even hearing from me, the highest being of humanity, let alone receiving anything else.
They intend for this silence treatment to undermine your self-esteem and persuade you that you are worthless.
3. To reprimand you
Everyone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder feels entitled. In essence, they have the right to do anything they like, while everyone else merely serves as an order taker.
Therefore, all hell will break loose if you try to violate their made-up rules and cause them narcissistic harm. When they want to “teach you a lesson,” kids may occasionally act out or disregard you.
Their wicked, twisted thinking believes that acting in this manner will benefit you. They are educating you on proper conduct. They are demonstrating to you what they will tolerate and what they will not.
The saddest part is that they will typically be successful. Because you don’t want them to shut down once more, you will submit to authority and follow instructions in order to avoid having to endure this suffering once more. Before you realise it, they’ve conditioned you to act in a certain way.
4. Increasing your level of stress
No matter how long a narcissist ignores you, even if it only does so for a few hours, it will make you anxious. And that’s very normal; after all, you adore this person and can’t bear it when they suddenly don’t talk to you.
Indeed, that is what they are trying to do—increase your stress levels. You’ll have anxiety and trepidation at this time, and you’ll mistakenly believe that this is because you can’t survive without them.
Your trauma bond will undoubtedly grow as a result of all of it.Let me warn you that this is merely one of their many deceitful strategies to destroy your mental stability. They are purposefully making you feel dependent on them.
You’re prepared to go to any lengths at this point to get rid of this dreadful feeling. And that’s exactly what you’re ready to do if it means pleading with a narc to return.
5. To elicit a response
Attention is one thing that narcissists really need to survive. They can only feel important by seeing how their victim responds.They do all of this because of that, after all. They would quickly move on to someone else if you continued to ignore their advances.
In essence, as long as you respond to their passive-aggressive game in some way, it doesn’t really matter how you do it. It doesn’t matter to them whether you sob, lash out, or even try to make them jealous.
A covert narcissist is mainly concerned with feeling superior to their victim. They can control you because of your response, and that is what they have been aiming for all along.
6. Creating tension
People who suffer from NPD will never admit to engaging in emotional abuse such as manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviour. Instead, they’ll make every effort to reverse roles and make you the villain.
They injure you in cunning ways, provoke you, and strike you below the belt. When you lose it, people accuse you of being insane and overreacting. At the same time, they won’t be afraid to point out that you erred in your judgement and that events didn’t unfold the way you believe they did.
Right then, you have a classic illustration of the deceitful tactic known as gaslighting.When they disregard you, the same thing occurs. It’s entirely common for them to push you over the edge and watch as you lose all sense of reality.
But that’s when they claim you’re stirring up trouble. Of course, they’ll seem as if they can’t tolerate it, but in reality, they love the drama in your poisonous relationship and look forwards to it every single day.
When you both know that they were intentionally stalling you, they claim that they were just trying to avoid getting into a fight.
7. They use it in their hot-and-cold game
All narcs enjoy having fun with games. They’ll initially love bomb you. Ghosting follows that, and then there is the huge return. Of course, this is just the start of a never-ending cycle of abuse that will result in the destruction of your mental health.
The answer to the question “How long will a narcissist ignore you?” is: until they’re ready for the next stage of this hot-and-cold game.
They’re doing this, if you ask them, to maintain the romance in your relationship. They are obviously not normal since they think differently than regular people, which is one of the reasons they are abnormal.
The bottom line is that they’re avoiding you in an effort to spice up your reunion with them.
8. New supply hit
Despite the fact that you undoubtedly view this as the worst case situation, the fact that your narc has discovered the next suitable victim is actually a blessing in disguise for you. It’s a hard break for this new individual, but it’s excellent news for you because it frees you from responsibility.
What I’m trying to say to you is that a narcissist may be neglecting you because they’ve found a new source of satisfaction. They are intentionally bringing a brand-new, innocent individual into your turmoil while they practise triangulation.
9. To experience need and want
The person who can give a narc precisely what they want: love, affection, and sympathy, is an empath. All narcissists are addicted to all of this, despite the fact that they try to hide it.
However, as soon as they detect even a hint of emotional neglect, they begin to ignore you in an effort to test your love for them. In essence, they panic at the mere possibility that you no longer love them, so they act out in order to reassure themselves that this is not the case.
They experience a surge of want and need when they witness you inconsolable over anything they did.
10. You’ve identified them
A narc’s world will end if they discover that their victim has them completely figured out. Since they felt exposed and defenceless, it’s highly conceivable that they are truly fleeing from you if you dig deeper into their conduct.
A narcissist is clueless on what to do in this situation. They can’t trick you back into their trap because it is clear that their deception methods are ineffective.
In essence, the only action they can take is vanish. But don’t worry, they’ll return sooner or later; they just need more time to regroup and devise a fresh plan to trick you once more.
11. Since they are able
Even though it may appear harsh, you are ultimately encouraging narcissistic behaviour. Naturally, I’m not referring to physically violent situations that make you fear for your life and make it impossible for you to consider leaving.
In all other instances, though, you’re allowing them to get away with it. After ignoring you for a while, they come back, and you embrace them with open arms.
So what stops a narcissist from going through the whole cycle again whenever they feel like it? They never suffer the consequences of their conduct, and it’s obvious that you have no intention of ending this narcissistic relationship.
How To Stop A Narcissist From Ignoring You: 6 Steps
Why do narcissists ignore you? and how long? You now know the response to that query. You’re trying to figure out a way to halt it. You’ll hear from them the next day after using some of these techniques, I assure you of that.
1. Recognize their motives
Determine which of the reasons a narcissist ignores you—as indicated above—applies to your abuser before you take any action.Without knowing if they are acting in this way to retake control, punish you for anything, or simply continue their cycle of emotional abuse, you cannot succeed in anything.
I am aware that identifying the underlying cause is not the simplest task in the world. Here’s some advice on how to handle it properly: set aside your affections for this individual.
Act as if you are merely a spectator in this egotistical relationship. What category would you place your covert narcissist in? What do you think is the cause of their behaviour, exactly?
2. Taking after a narcissist
To put it simply, mirroring a narcissist entails treating them the same way you treat them. For the average person, this is challenging, especially when it involves a narc you genuinely care about despite everything. However, people with NPD typically only speak and comprehend this language.
Basically, you gaslight them back if they’re doing it to you. You should love bomb them back if they are doing so. Naturally, you ignore them back if they’re being silent towards you.
A narcissist will become perplexed and bewildered as a result. That’s where you want them to be because you’ll outsmart them.
3. Improve your sense of worth
Recall how we discussed how your abuser is neglecting you first because they want to undermine your sense of self-worth at any costs? It’s up to you to disprove them, though.
And improving your self-esteem is the best method to achieve that. Especially for yourself, demonstrate to the narcissist that your worth is independent of their existence in your life.
You can be content and confident without them by yourself. They failed to persuade you that you are unworthy or sufficient, and your perception of yourself won’t change simply because they ignored you when they got up in the morning.
4. Avoid playing the blame game
Be cautious because every narcissist will try to convince you that you are to blame for this catastrophe. This notion is that if you treated them differently, they would never disregard you.
Because you prompted them to act in this way, everything is your fault. Sounds recognisable?I must forewarn you that a narc will keep assigning blame. Don’t be fooled by it; it’s a trap.
5. Avoid coming off as naive
Another thing you shouldn’t do when a narcissist is ignoring you is to seem as though you have no idea what they are talking about. Act as though you are aware of what they are doing and, more importantly, what they are attempting to accomplish.
Instead, don’t be reluctant to express your opinions. Call them out on their behaviour and let them know that you are fully aware of all that has been happening. That will stun them more than anything else, I assure you.
They now have to devise some serious new tactics because their cover has been compromised.
6. Be unconcerned
Last but not least, the secret is to appear utterly unaffected by anything that has happened. If someone is neglecting you, it’s acceptable to express your hurt. That doesn’t necessarily mean that your life is over, though.
I know you’re hurting, but please act like you’re absolutely unaffected by their actions. Give them neither attention nor evidence that they have had a significant impact on you.
Just let them be instead of writing them lengthy emails and pleading with them to talk to you. Don’t follow them and demand an explanation; just go on without a conclusion!
This is what will hurt them the most, I assure you of that. Your narc will show up at your door the next day once they realise you don’t give a damn about how they’re being treated in silence.