Why Do Narcissists Get Married

Have you ever wondered why do narcissists get married? It’s a fascinating topic that delves into the complexities of their personality traits and motivations. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind why narcissists decide to tie the knot, shedding light on the psychology behind their actions.

By understanding this phenomenon, we can gain valuable insights into the minds of narcissists and their relationships. So, let’s delve into the intriguing world of why narcissists choose to get married.

Why Do Narcissists Get Married

Reasons for Narcissists to Get Married

Desire for Validation and Admiration

One of the primary reasons why narcissists choose to get married is their deep desire for validation and admiration from others. Narcissists have an insatiable need for external validation, as they constantly seek reassurance and affirmation of their perceived superiority.

By entering into a marriage, narcissists can have a constant source of validation through their spouse’s admiration and adoration. Hearing compliments, receiving praise, and being idealized by their partner feeds their ego and boosts their fragile self-esteem.

Need for Control and Power

Narcissists have an inherent need to exert control and power over others, and marriage provides them with a platform to fulfill this desire. They manipulate and dominate their partners, using emotional manipulation and psychological tactics to gain control.

By choosing a spouse who is more vulnerable or easily influenced, narcissists can exploit their partner’s weaknesses for personal gain. This power dynamic allows them to reinforce their inflated sense of grandiosity and superiority, further fueling their narcissistic tendencies.

Why Do Narcissists Get Married

Idealization and Devaluation Cycles

In the initial stages of a relationship, narcissists often idealize their partners, putting them on a pedestal and showering them with affection and attention. However, this idealization phase is short-lived, as narcissists eventually switch to the devaluation phase.

They start criticizing, degrading, and devaluing their spouse, systematically tearing down their self-esteem and self-worth. This cycle of idealization and devaluation gives the narcissist a sense of control, as they can manipulate their partner’s emotions and keep them emotionally off balance.

The narcissist enjoys the emotional turmoil and thrives on the power they have over their partner’s self-perception.

Displaying a Perfect Image

Maintaining a perfect image is crucial for narcissists, and marriage provides the perfect fa├žade for them to display to the world. They project an idealized version of themselves, creating an illusion of happiness, success, and perfection.

By being in a seemingly happy and harmonious marriage, narcissists can enhance their public image and garner admiration from others. It becomes a tool for them to impress and influence others.

They take great care to ensure that their spouse reflects their perceived success and achievement, as it adds to their grandiosity and the validation they seek.

Access to Social and Financial Resources

Narcissists often seek partners who can provide them with access to social and financial resources, as it adds to their sense of power and status. By marrying someone well-connected, the narcissist can utilize their partner’s network and connections for personal gain.

They thrive on the social acceptance and networks that come with their spouse, as it boosts their image and expands their sphere of influence. Additionally, marrying into wealth or financial stability secures a comfortable lifestyle for the narcissist, granting them the opportunities and resources they crave.

Why Do Narcissists Get Married

Avoiding Loneliness and Fears of Abandonment

Deep down, narcissists harbor intense fears of loneliness and abandonment. They constantly seek attention, companionship, and validation to mitigate their insecurities and vulnerabilities. By getting married, narcissists create a shield against the fear of rejection or abandonment.

They rely on their spouse to provide constant attention, emotional support, and companionship. Being in a marriage ensures they always have someone by their side, reinforcing their belief in their own attractiveness and desirability.

The fear of being alone or abandoned is temporarily assuaged, providing them with a sense of security.

Meeting Societal Expectations

Societal norms and expectations often dictate the decisions narcissists make, and marriage is no exception. The pressure to conform and settle down can be overwhelming for many individuals.

Narcissists may choose to get married to meet these societal expectations and fulfill the anticipated milestones of adulthood. By displaying the ‘ideal’ lifestyle through marriage, narcissists conform to the image of success and stability that society applauds.

It allows them to fit into the mold of what society deems as “normal” while maintaining a sense of control and meeting external expectations.

Securing a Source of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists rely heavily on a constant supply of admiration, attention, and validation from others, also known as narcissistic supply. By getting married, they secure a guaranteed source of narcissistic supply in the form of their spouse.

The partner becomes an emotional “feeding ground” for the narcissist, where they can extract the attention, adulation, and praise they crave. They manipulate their spouse’s emotions, ensuring that their partner’s responses are always in line with their desires, giving them a sense of control and power over their emotions.

The constant flow of narcissistic supply keeps the narcissist’s fragile ego intact and fuels their sense of self-importance.

Manipulating and Exploiting the Partner

Marriage provides narcissists with a prime opportunity to manipulate and exploit their partner for their personal gain. Narcissists are skilled at manipulating emotions and using psychological tactics to control their spouse.

They exploit their partner’s vulnerabilities, needs, and desires to serve their own selfish purposes. Whether it is using emotional blackmail, gaslighting, or guilt-tripping, narcissists manipulate their partner into fulfilling their wishes and desires.

They thrive on the power they hold over their spouse, enjoying the sense of dominance and control it gives them.

Obtaining Social Status and Success

Associating themselves with successful and influential partners allows narcissists to create perceptions of accomplishment and status. By marrying someone high-achieving or well-respected in their field, the narcissist can bask in the reflected glory of their spouse.

This association adds to their image and increases their social status. It becomes a way for them to gain recognition and validation from others. By aligning themselves with successful individuals, the narcissist can further solidify their inflated sense of self-worth and grandiosity.


Narcissists have a multitude of reasons for getting married, ranging from their desire for validation and admiration to their need for control and power. Marriage provides narcissists with the perfect opportunity to manipulate, exploit, and display a false image to the world.

It grants them access to social and financial resources, mitigates their fears of abandonment, and allows them to conform to societal expectations. Ultimately, narcissists enter into marriage to secure a constant source of narcissistic supply and further their own agenda of self-importance, control, and success.

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