How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You

A narcissist is someone who adores and admires themselves excessively. They have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and a great desire for adoration.How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you?

To feel more significant and powerful, narcissists frequently attempt to exert control over those around them.It’s critical to be aware of potential narcissist reactions and be prepared to handle them if you’re in a relationship with one.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can't Control You

Describe a narcissist

A narcissist is someone who has an obsessional level of self-love and excessive admiration. Narcissus was a character from Greek mythology who, after falling in love with his own image, withered away and passed away. This tale is where the word “narcissist” originated.

A narcissist is someone who is overly self-absorbed and exaggerates their importance. They frequently look for partnerships with people who they believe will offer them the attention and appreciation they need. Additionally, narcissists frequently possess a strong sense of charm and persuasion.

How a Narcissist controls you with 13 strategies

A narcissist can exert a lot of various types of influence on you. Here are twelve of the strategies they’ll employ most frequently:

1. Sending you love bombs

Love-bombing is one of the most frequent strategies a narcissist will employ to exert control over you. At the start of the relationship, they do this to show you lots of love and care in an effort to make you feel special and significant. They might give you gifts, treat you to expensive dates, and compliment you all the time.

The typical tactic used by narcissists to win you over is to show you their affection. You’ll get the impression that you’re the most significant person in their lives and that they wouldn’t be able to survive without you. This high degree of flattery can be highly alluring and difficult to reject.

2.Making You Rely On Them 

A narcissist will frequently try to rely on you. They’ll always be there for you when you need them and be happy to assist you, for example. You’ll come to believe that you can’t live without them.

3. Isolation from Other People

The goal of a narcissist is to keep you apart from other people. They will accomplish this by attempting to get you to avoid spending time with anyone else. They can also make an effort to restrict your social interactions and communication.

4. They’ll make an effort to blame you.

A narcissist will frequently attempt to pin all of their problems on you. They’ll try to convince you that you’re to blame for all of their issues.

5. Reacting in a passive-aggressive manner

Passive-aggressive behaviour is a common response from narcissists towards you. They will convey one message while really meaning another. In an effort to control you, they might also withhold facts from you or tell you lies.

6. Acting out violently

When they don’t get their way, narcissists frequently exhibit excessive tantrum behaviour. They might yell, scream, or behave violently. If they don’t get what they want, they might even threaten to hurt themselves or someone else.

7. Quickly Changing Tactics

A narcissist frequently switches up their strategies swiftly to throw you off guard. They might be kind and caring one moment and cold and uncaring the next. Additionally, they could make guarantees they never keep.

8. Making You Complain About Them

A narcissist will frequently make an effort to win your sympathy. They will take advantage of your remorse and empathy to gain what they want from you.

9. Learning every detail about you

A narcissist will frequently make an effort to learn everything about you. They’ll be curious about everything you think, feel, and do. By telling you what to think and feel, they could also attempt to influence your thoughts and emotions.

10. Making up additional crises

A narcissist will frequently make an effort to convince you that you are the only person who can assist them in solving their difficulties. In an effort to win your compassion and attention, they could seem as though they are going through a terrible period.

11. Constant Approval Required

A narcissist frequently relies on external validation to make them feel good about themselves. They might try to achieve this by soliciting compliments from you or by scouring the room for them.

12. Acting Differently

A narcissist may attempt to convince you that they have changed by expressing regret for previous actions or making commitments to act differently going forwards. However, it’s crucial to keep in mind that narcissists are adept at passing as someone they’re not and frequently relapse to their old behaviours.

13. Gaslighting

Narcissists frequently employ the gaslighting technique to manage and manipulate their partners. When someone gaslights you, you start to doubt your own memory or reality.

A narcissist might, for instance, claim that you said something that you didn’t say or claim that something didn’t happen when you know it did. This might be incredibly perplexing and make you question your abilities.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

A narcissist frequently exhibits unpleasant behaviour when they get uncontrollable. This may involve losing your temper, isolating yourself, or using aggressive language and behaviour towards others. In an effort to restore control, narcissists may often resort to physical abuse.

Here are some additional scenarios in which a narcissist losing control over you might result.

1. Narcissistic rage

In response to a warning or criticism, a narcissist may become enraged. Lack of control, a sense of being in control, and occasionally aggression are its defining characteristics. Any event that puts the narcissist’s ego in danger, such as a partner leaving them or criticism from others, might set off this kind of rage.

narcissist rage when they can't control you

2. Follow You

Stalking you is one method a narcissist may use to take back control. They’ll make an effort to monitor your every move. For a narcissist, giving up control over oneself and their choices in life is equivalent to losing. They try to interfere with your regular lives while stalking you, which encourages their bad behaviour even more.

3. Attempt to Inspire Jealousy

Making their ex-partner envious is another strategy a narcissist may employ to reclaim power. They might accomplish this by uploading pictures of themselves with others, boasting about their recent exploits, or flirting with other people. This is frequently done to diminish their ex-partner and serve as a constant reminder of what they are lacking.

4. Affections from a New Partner

A narcissist could also try to replace their ex-partner with someone else who will pay them more attention and regard. This new resource might be a new lover, a new pal, or even a new animal. Finding someone who will revere and adore them in the way that they crave is something that the narcissist frequently goes to tremendous measures to do.

5. They’ll Play The Victim

A narcissist may start to play the victim when they lose control. They can assert that they were the ones who were abused or that their ex-partner was abusive. This is frequently done in an effort to win people’ empathy and support.

6. They’ll desert you

A narcissist may ghost their ex-partner as a further attempt to retake power. This entails severing all ties to them, both verbally and physically. This is frequently done to try to give their ex-partner a sense of loneliness and isolation.

7. They Won’t Accept “No” As An Answer

A narcissist may also be intolerant of rejection. Even after being instructed repeatedly to leave them alone, they can still go after their ex-partner. This is frequently done in an effort to demoralise their former spouse and wear down their resistance.

8. They’ll make an effort to ruin your life

A narcissist could also try to ruin the lives of their ex-partner. They might accomplish this by making up stories about them, ruining their relationships, or even accusing them of things they haven’t done. To exact retribution or to make their ex feel as awful as they do, this is frequently done.

9. They’ll start a defamation campaign against you

A narcissist who loses control might start a defamation campaign against their ex-partner. This entails disseminating false information about somebody in an effort to harm their reputation. The narcissist might also make an effort to undermine their ex-achievements partner’s or harm their reputation with their friends and family.

10. They’ll make an effort to feel superior once more

Finally, a narcissist might act in ways that will make them feel better about themselves in an effort to reclaim their superiority. They might try to make new purchases, start fresh endeavours, or even change careers. This is frequently done in an effort to boost one’s self-esteem and demonstrate to others that one is still deserving of respect.

Why Do Narcissists Exercise Such Control?

There are various explanations for why narcissists frequently exhibit control. It’s critical to understand a narcissist’s demand for control if you’re in a relationship with them. If you don’t, you might experience unhealthy or even abusive forms of control.

A therapist or counsellor can help you examine the issue and come up with a plan to protect yourself if you’re worried that your relationship is becoming too controlling.


One explanation is that they don’t want to be abandoned. They can be concerned that their partners will leave them if they don’t exert control over them.


Another factor is that narcissists believe they have a right to authority and control. They might think they deserve to be in charge because they are superior to everyone else. Narcissists may also be control freaks who need to have complete control over their lives.

How Does A Narcissist React When fighting with partner

The Need For Complete Control

Do you feel as though you must continuously tread carefully around your partner? Do you frequently question your actions and wonder if you’re doing something incorrect? Do you believe that no matter how hard you try, you can never satisfy them?

In that case, you might be dating a control freak. Perfectionists by nature, control freaks demand that the people in their lives meet their impossible standards. They are the ones that always have to be right, and they utilise their position of authority to manipulate and dominate people in order to further their own ends.

You can experience continual criticism or shaming if you’re in a relationship with a control freak. You can believe that you are incapable of doing anything well and that your partner is constantly criticising you. You can feel that you’re constantly on edge and that your self-esteem is in decline.

In control freaks, narcissistic personality disorder is common. Narcissists have an obsession with control and power, and they utilise their control to manipulate and control other people. You can experience constant criticism or denigration if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

You can believe that you are incapable of doing anything well and that your partner is constantly criticising you. You can feel that you’re constantly on edge and that your self-esteem is in decline.

If your partner is a control freak, you might want to think about leaving. Control freaks can ruin your life and frequently emotionally abuse their relationships. You might want to think about leaving a relationship with a narcissist if you’re in one. Narcissists frequently subject their relationships to emotional abuse, and they can truly ruin your life.

How Can You Remove Control From a Narcissist?

In reality, narcissists are highly insecure individuals. They are deeply afraid of being disregarded, neglected, or rejected. They try their hardest to ensure that they are the centre of attention out of fear.

You can do a few things to wrest control from a narcissist. Remember that narcissists are impossible to reform or fix, but there are steps you may do to regain some control over the situation:

Neglect them

Ignoring a narcissist is one of the best things you can do to take control away from them. This works particularly well if they’re trying to control you by appealing to your emotions. They’ll ultimately give up and go on to someone else if you don’t give them the attention they want.

Use gray-rocking

A strategy called “gray-rocking” involves acting boring and uninteresting, or like a grey rock. Nothing the narcissist says or does elicits a response from you. Nothing happens to you—not even happiness, joy, or sadness. You simply are.

The narcissist is perplexed by this because they love to see others’ reactions. They will soon grow bored and move on if they are unable to elicit a response.

Keep Your Personal Identity.

Making sure you are the person you want to be is a key aspect of control for a narcissist. They want you to be a part of them—someone who supports them and complies with their demands.

Maintaining your own identity is crucial when dating a narcissist. You should continue to pursue your interests and form your own opinions. This will enable you to regain some of the initiative in the union.

No-Contact Mode

You might need to cut off communication with the narcissist if you have tried everything else and nothing has worked. This entails removing them entirely from your life. You don’t even think about them, talk to them, or even see them. Although it is an extreme measure, there are instances when it is the only option to regain control.

No matter what you do, keep in mind that narcissists are impossible to reform or fix. You are the only one who has the power to achieve it. However, you are still able to exert some influence over the relationship.

How Does A Narcissist React when partner says no

How Can You Manage a Narcissist?

Understanding what you’re dealing with is the first step. Narcissists are frequently charming and convincing, which makes them challenging to deal with. They could also be adept at making you believe that you are at fault.

Although dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, it’s critical to keep in mind that you have the ability to influence the situation. Be aggressive, establish boundaries, and be prepared to leave if necessary.

You must establish limits once you realise you are dealing with a narcissist. You must be prepared to leave a narcissist behind. When they are confronted or don’t get their way, narcissists frequently explode in anger. You must be ready to leave a situation if you’re dealing with a narcissist.

Assertiveness is also necessary while dealing with narcissists. Narcissists frequently try to exploit those who are submissive or who shy away from conflict. It’s critical that you defend yourself and refuse to be treated disrespectfully.

Why do narcissists require power?

Because of their exaggerated self-importance and intense desire for adulation, narcissists need to be in charge. They consider themselves superior to others and deserving of leadership. Additionally, narcissists have a strong need for dominance and control over others.

Narcissists frequently try to manipulate their surroundings in order to control those who are close to them. It’s crucial that you resist letting a narcissist manipulate you.

How can you finally get away from a narcissist?

Here are some steps you can take if you’re sick of being manipulated and want to end your relationship with the narcissist permanently.

1. Do not grant them a second chance.

You might be tempted to give the narcissist another chance if you’ve already tried to leave them and they’ve asked for forgiveness. But it’s crucial to keep in mind that if you stay with them, they will simply continue to abuse and dominate you. Therefore, resist their charms and refuse to give them another chance.

2. Refuse to be duped by their flattery

They are skilled manipulators, narcissists. To achieve what they want, they will say anything. So, don’t be fooled by their sincere platitudes and false promises. They’ll simply make use of them to manipulate you.

3. Re-establish contact with your loved ones.

You have probably been kept apart from your friends and family by the narcissist. So, after you leave the narcissist, it’s crucial to get back in touch with them. They can offer you the assistance you need to recover from the abuse.


If you want to get away from a narcissist, understanding how they will act when they can no longer control you is crucial. A narcissist would employ every mind-control strategy possible to regain control. If you are unaware of the steps they may take to control you, you might just fall into their cunning trap.

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