One of the most traumatic experiences you will ever go through is being dumped by your partner.Do we see the covert narcissist discard signs? It is such a challenging loss in many ways because it frequently results in experiences of replacement, betrayal, rejection, and abandonment.
Being intentionally lost by someone you know well and who made the decision to cast you away makes it very traumatic. Because the other person is telling you that you are unacceptable, the anguish of this intimate rejection aches terribly.
Your attachment system suffers psychological trauma as a result of this, which lowers your sense of self-worth and makes you feel less worthy of relationships and future investments in others.
You will feel extremely hurt if someone you love abandons you because you had a close relationship with them, made yourself open to their manipulation, and trusted them with your heart. After all this personal commitment, it is ultimately devastating and confusing to learn that you are simply unloved.
Covert Narcissist Discard Signs
#1 No longer have “eye to eye” contact with you
#2 Constant cell phone calls or texts,that they answer in another room or location
#3 Correcting and interrupting you,when you speak
#4 Watching TV or social media when in your company
#5 Failing to answer probing questions
#6 Turn to there side in bed,to avoid facing you
How can one heal?
Let me start by reassuring you that you can heal. This experience doesn’t have to ruin your life. You can discover love once more. Here are some tips for recovering from a discard:
Let yourself experience grief
Don’t try to suppress your emotions; let them come out. You will heal more quickly the more you give yourself permission to feel your feelings. Grieving is the process of letting out the emotional energy that has been held within of you.
You can achieve this by sharing your feelings and talking about your loss. Allow yourself to reflect on the enjoyable moments (and the bad times.) Express your emotions in writing. Greetings, bye.
Examine your limiting beliefs
You will feel a sense of shock and denial when you remain by yourself throughout your time of grieving and ask yourself, “Did this really happen? What do I do next? Most likely, you will be watching for your ex to come back.
(Aside: Ideally, he or she won’t return, as doing so would forge a trauma bond that would worsen your loss of personal authority.) Additionally, you’ll probably ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me that this happened?” You feel unwelcome, which might lead to self-critical ideas like “I’m not good enough.”
I’m not lovable, or. You might think you’re flawed or not as good as someone else or other people. If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship, you’ve undoubtedly been led to believe that you’re the issue and that you can never quite get it right.
Supporting your self-defeating views
If your loved one, replaced you with someone else in addition to discarding you, this will exacerbate your trauma because it implies that you were the issue because this new person is unquestionably more likeable and acceptable than you are.
It’s crucial for you to confront these harmful, self-defeating beliefs and replace them with truth in order to recover from a discard. Remind yourself with phrases like “I am enough.” I can rediscover love. I am endearing. I am complete. I’m a healer. I’ll recover.
Return the onus of accountability to the other person
It does not follow that the other person is right on any level just because they are willing to hurt you, abandon you, or even blame you. Return the onus to the other person, where it belongs.
Being rejected by your ex reveals more about them than it does about you. Don’t hold yourself accountable for the choices or actions of others. The individual who rejected you makes decisions for themselves based on their own set of values.
Consider this. On some level, maintaining a committed relationship necessitates the capacity to stick with your partner through good times and challenging times, rather than just doing so when it seems right or when it is personally fulfilling.
Your loved one might not be able to sustain that kind of long-term relationship. Many egotistical persons routinely reject other people. Is there anyone else to blame for this? Or is the character of the person refusing more important?
Use this mental image: Imagine shifting the burden of duty from your shoulders to the shoulders of the other person. Imagine yourself being relieved of the responsibility for this relationship’s end.
Learn the lessons of life. You can still learn something from the experience even if the other person choose to end the relationship. Asking yourself some inquiries
What can I use to my future relationship that I learned from this one?
What could I have changed (this is not a place for self-blame, only for self-evaluation and personal development)? Perhaps the answer is that you yourself should have left this person a long time ago since you noticed warning signs but choose to ignore them, etc.
Is it healthier for me that I gave myself permission to love and invest in someone else, even if the relationship didn’t work out?
Carry on with your life. Do not forget to invest this time in your development. Whatever you do, don’t conspire with your abandoner by leaving yourself. Instead, love yourself, support yourself, and be there for yourself.
Instead, symbolically take yourself by the hand and go live well. Put money into your future, other relationships, and yourself. Set objectives and plans. Establish a vision board. Pass on.